I Discovered My Calling in a Cemetery. We Talk About Death but Aren’t Prepared

My journey as a funeral director started early. My Catholic grade school shared a street with a cemetery in my small rural Indiana hometown. At recess, I’d often see funeral processions drive by, only at the time I thought it was a parade. It wasn’t until my teachers explained it to me that I realized it was, in fact, a funeral procession. At that moment I knew I wanted to lead that parade.
I also remember attending a funeral for a family member who passed away when I was nine. I was so shocked and disappointed, along with the rest of my family, at how he looked in the casket. I never wanted something like this to happen to another family.
That same year, I was in my school library and found a book about embalming in ancient Egypt. A single sentence stood out: Modern day embalmers are sometimes called morticians or funeral directors. When I read this, I knew that was what I was going to be. At 15 years old I started working for a local funeral home, and 2024 is my 15th year in the profession.
In those 15 years, I have made many meaningful connections with families in my community that make my career rewarding—one of the most impactful connections happened recently. I turned 30 earlier this year, and that same week I served the family of a young woman who was also 30 when she died.
The way her family commemorated her, from the music they played to the way they spoke about her, moved me. I felt like my life was just beginning at this milestone, but here was this wonderful person who I never got to meet. I wondered if we would have been friends if we met—we have the same taste in music and fashion. It was a humbling moment that reminded me why I chose this career and continue to find meaning in what I do more than a decade later.
From fashion to workplace culture and every TikTok trend in between, there is no shortage of social commentary on how Gen Z is redefining norms and challenging older generations to think differently.
Death and grief are no different. A recent first-of-its-kind survey from the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) sought to uncover generational differences relating to end-of-life matters, especially as Gen Z comes of age and enters early adulthood. The survey found that while cremation is still a top preference for Baby Boomers, Gen X, and Millennials, Gen Z stands alone with traditional burial as their top preference, bucking decades of preferences trending toward cremation.
As a millennial who is fifteen years into my career as a funeral director, I am inspired by this next generation, not only by their willingness to approach death differently, but also as they redefine work and success. I think both these generational characteristics make many Gen Zs ideal candidates for a job path they may have never even considered: funeral director.
I know not everyone is lucky enough to know what they want to do with their life at nine years old, and to continue to foster that passion when they are 30. Like many fellow Millennials, as well as Gen Z, success to me is about living a life and choosing a profession that gives me purpose and value. In fact, 86 percent of Gen Z say having a sense of purpose is important in their overall job satisfaction and well-being. But that’s easier said than done, especially as today’s young adults graduate into a tough job market.
More than half of Gen Z view funeral directors as important, valuable, and trustworthy and are the most likely to hold this belief compared to older generations, according to a recent NFDA survey. Sixty-eight percent of Gen Z believe it is important to commemorate the life of a loved one with a funeral or memorial service compared to 44 percent of Baby Boomers. With nearly 8,000 projected job openings in the next decade, the funeral industry is in urgent need of talent to fill these vital roles.
While funeral service is undoubtedly an accessible career path with job openings, it’s more than that. It’s clear that Gen Z, along with their Millennial counterparts, value leaders who serve their communities and take social responsibility seriously, as well as memorializing their loved ones when they have died in a meaningful way. So, why wouldn’t this generation want to become those valued, trusted community leaders themselves to help families do the same?
It’s not just on Gen Z to come to this realization themselves. It’s up to us as seasoned professionals to encourage and mentor the next generation. Mentors make the mortician, and mine have been instrumental in getting me where I am today.
They taught me resilience, and how to accept that you need to make mistakes in order to grow. They taught me persistence, an invaluable tool as a young, first-generation female funeral director who is often overlooked and not taken seriously. They helped me grow into a strong, confident leader who could become one of 20 funeral service professionals in the 2022-23 NFDA National Emerging Leaders Program.
Although many Americans believe talking about death and dying is healthy and normal, according to new NFDA research, most people do not make funeral arrangements often enough to know exactly what needs to happen when a loved one dies.
While they may be open to talking about death and dying, it can be different in practice. It is critical that we continue to have members of our community who are experts on all options, including the latest trends and innovations in funeral service, to help people navigate one of the most difficult times in their lives.
For Millennials like me and all older generations in funeral service and beyond, I call on you to embrace the role of mentor and welcome the next generation into your professional community with open arms.
We need to say yes to innovation and new ideas, not gatekeep knowledge or judge Gen Z based on generational differences. We need to create a stronger line of communication across Baby Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z to share decades of knowledge and help create more compassionate, purpose-driven and supported funeral service professionals—and people.
As I look ahead to the next 15 years of my career and beyond, I ask myself one question and encourage others to do the same, no matter what career they are in: Are you doing the work to inspire a new generation of leaders and being the person you needed when you first started out?
For me, the answer is always yes, and I for one am excited to see what the future holds.
Allyse Worland, CFSP, is a Licensed Funeral Director and Embalmer in the states of Indiana and Kentucky, as well as a spokesperson for the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA). She is proud to be a first-generation funeral service professional. She is a highly respected presenter, speaking at seminars during funeral service conferences around the country, all while still being full-time as a funeral director and embalmer. Her greatest joy is being a part of funeral service and devoting her time to contributing to the advancement of the profession.
All views expressed in this article are the authors’ own.
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